The Mummy (2017)

Alrighty folks, sorry for the lack of activity, but here we go with the new review! I understand that I'm quite behind, but please understand that I'm busy making new videos for y'all, too! Hang in there!

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                  Tom Cruise stars as Nick Morton, a military operative who is a high-key treasure hunter. Where he's stationed, it's crowded with enemies. He and his buddy Sergeant Vail are on their own, and Nick wants to go into the enemy-infested area to look for some loot. Vail doesn't like it, but Nick assures him, "It'll be quick. In 'n out."

                  Next thing you know, they're being shot at, and Vail is freaking out. He gets so worked up that he calls in an airstrike, and the tangos leave almost immediately after getting bombarded. One of the shots from the airstrike opens an enormous hole in the ground, and it reveals a mummy-looking statue. You can guess where the mummy is.

                  Now, I didn't mention the beginning before this particular sequence because I want it to be a surprise for you folks. It's the new mummy's origin story, and it's actually quite interesting. It's unique to Ahmanet and who her character is developed to be.

                  Okay, anyway, Nick's superior comes onto the scene along with Jenny Halsey, an archaeologist. Apparently, Nick and Jenny have a history, one as soon as the evening before. The backstory explained here is awkwardly dropped in front of Nick's superior, and it feels out of place in the whole unraveling of things. But watching the rest of the film, there's really no other place they could have done it. I kind of wish the two didn't know each other before this encounter, but it's whatever.

                  They dig up the sarcophagus, and as they're doing so, Jenny is examining the grave. She makes a bunch of ominous realizations (out loud thank god) about how the set up of the chamber is not anything good. The statues looking like Anubis are facing inwards, not outwards, meaning that they are guarding the individual from leaving, not from anything coming in.

                  The other thing is that there's a pool of mercury covering the sarcophagus, which is being

suspended by four poles held down by enormous rocks that act as a sort of pulley device. Mercury is significant because that's what the Egyptians believed could restrict the powers of darkness. Kind of like Dracula and silver.

                  And finally, there's no treasures inside the tomb. This is symbolic of no preparation for the afterlife. So whatever this person of nobility (hence the personal tomb) did, it was nothing good. And that's also why it's so far from Egypt itself. It's actually located in Mesopotamia, present-day Iraq. In other words, the Egyptians wanted nothing to do with this force of evil. So it's gotta be pretty bad. Of course it is, otherwise there wouldn't be a movie, right?

                  From there, I think you can deduce what happens. The only riddle you'll really have to solve is how Tom Cruise is alive for the remainder of the movie since he dies in the plane crash. So go and see it!

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Ratings:

Family Friendliness - 8/10 Sarcophagi The film is suprisingly family-friendly. I mean, don't gemme wrong, the mummies themselves are pretty scary. They're almost zombie-like, which kind of irked me because it felt like a World War Z-esque film. Nonetheless, there's hardly, if any, swearing, no nudity, and only a few scenes of intense violence and scary images.

Story line - 8/10 Mummies Alright, the story was there, no doubt. And since it was acting as a springboard into Warner Brother's "Dark Universe", it was good in that respect. It was interesting and unique, and I believe the writers did a fantastic job.

Compared to "The Mummy (1999)" - 6/10 Monsters DO NOT GET ME WRONG, this was a good movie on its own. But literally everyone has seen the 1999 version of an ancient Egyptian god come to life and terrorize the planet, so it's hard to live up to the precedent that film set. Had I never seen Brendan Fraser's incarnation of the movie, I would have loved this one so much more. But here's the reason why this 2017 version didn't live up: character development.

                  As a standalone reboot of the franchise we all know and love starring Brendan Fraser, it was kind of a disappointment. Each character, no matter how minor in the original Mummy, had something that defined them and made you understand them. That way, when they died, you felt bad! Even if they were being jerks to Rick! In this version of The Mummy, you felt no pity for those who

died. You were only attached to Nick and Jenny, and they were overall stale characters.

                  Also, if you compare Imhotep and Ahmanet, I believe Imhotep is a better mummy. Not because he's more badass or anything. Here's why: background. Imhotep was driven by love to summon the dark arts. So his rage came from something that was pure, and that made his story tragic. I pitied Imhotep, even though I knew he had to go.

                  Ahmanet was driven by rage from the get-go. There's nothing behind that except greed. So I don't really pity her because she was just being a selfish and whiny baby because she couldn't get the throne. AND she was so pissed about the throne being taken from her that she KILLED A BABY!!! How messed up d'you have to be to kill a baby? You've gotta have a screw loose or something. I don't think even Imhotep would have done that.

Story Action Balance - 7/10 Buses There was a lotta lotta action, and I don't think there was enough build up to the mummy's grand reveal to make her scary as much as Imhotep was scary in the original Mummy. Then again, that's my nostalgic self looking for something to live up to Brendan Fraser. Unfortunately, you can't look at this movie that way.

Overall - 7/10 Stars Personally, I think this is a generous rating. But I try to be generous with films as much as I can. I hope you can forgive this film more than I have, and I haven't even completely expressed my distaste for this movie so as to give you folks a chance to watch it. So please lower your expectations and give it a chance guys.

Bibliography:

"The Mummy 2017 Trailer" <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjHgzkQM2Sg>

"The Mummy 2017 Ahmanet" <http://static1.squarespace.com/static/51b3dc8ee4b051b96ceb10de/51ce6099e4b0d911b4489b79/5844d42e2e69cf1ae470f990/1481003478427/full-trailer-for-tom-cruises-the-mummy-welcomes-you-to-the-world-of-gods-and-monsters-social.jpg?format=1000w>

"The Mummy 2017 Nick Morton" <https://3w46os2x1jd34c87yk1vvkvh-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Mummy-images-2-600x395.jpg>

"The Mummy 1999 Wallpaper" <http://cdn.wallpapersafari.com/63/52/nAg6UW.jpg>

Wonder Woman

So far, the movies that DC has made haven't been able to deliver a really satisfying experience. The only ones worth noting are Man of Steel (until the neck snap) and this (until final boss battle). But luckily for you, DCEU fans, Wonder Woman has saved your cinematic universe. Let's just hope they can keep the trend going.

W O N D E R   W O M A N

                  I will admit, this was a very cool movie. There were lots of laughs and plenty of action sequences that are sure to make you raise your eyebrows. It was an overall great film.

                  It starts out with Diana's narration of her story: "I used to want to save the world". But that

all changed because, y'know, war. But anyway, we see her being raised from childhood to adulthood. She has this yearning to become a warrior of Themyscira, but her mother won't allow her to learn to fight because "she will never need it." Psych, cause not long after, Themyscira is discovered, and many warriors die.
                  As you can imagine, that pisses the queen off and she wants to kill the first dude that stepped foot onto her hidden island: Steve Trevor (Chris Pine). Isn't it interesting that Captain America and this dude are both named Steve and both played by dudes named Chris? Betcha didn't catch that one before. You're welcome.
                  Using the Lasso of Truth, the queen finds out that Steve is an American spy assigned to British intelligence (not that she knows what that is). His job was simply to report back to HQ on the Germans' progress behind their mask of wanting an armistice. Turns out that Germany is really trying to create a new type of gas that will render gas masks ineffective, under the direction of a scientist simply known as "Doctor Poison."

                   Doctor Poison is very close to cracking the code to her new super weapon, but she keeps falling short. And when Diana hears about this doctor, who works for General Ludendorff, she believes that Ludendorff is Ares, the God of War. Because who else would initiate a World War, said to be "the War to end all wars?" That's Ares' ultimate goal: for mankind to destroy themselves.
                   So Diana sets out with Steve to find Ares and kill him. Along the way, unnecessary characters are met, beautiful scenery is shown off, and Diana learns about snow. For a DCEU film, this was by far the best, and honestly saved the dying DCEU. I'd recommend seeing it, but don't expect an Avengers level type film, and you will surely be impressed.

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Ratings:

Family Friendliness - 8/10 Bracelets I was very surprised. Aside from the trench warfare and disturbing gas sequences, Wonder Woman was not as dark as its Man of Steel stand-alone counterpart. It was very much lighthearted, with Diana being oblivious to a great many things, and the characters having to help her along as she sort of stumbles through London. But once she hits the battlefield, that's where she really shines.

Story Action Balance - 8/10 Swords The movie is very story driven, much unlike Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, which was just trying to justify its pitting together two titans of the DC Universe and having them basically sissy fight. That was not the case for this film. Story and characters drove this home. The only thing I'd change is the final battle sequence, where Diana faces Ares. That kind of got out of hand, but other than that, Wonder Woman was a very enjoyable movie experience.
Acting - 7/10 Shields Gal Gadot delivers a stellar performance, and so does Chris Pine! I mean, with an all-star cast, what else can you expect? Characters, although they drove the story like I said in the previous rating, were kind of dry. It seems like not a lot of effort was put into them. Diana and Steve were the centerpieces of the film, which is understandable, but I would have liked some more interaction and development of supporting characters. Because let's be honest, we all love a funny comedic relief, right? And it seems like everyone was that besides Ares.
Story line - 7/10 Tiaras Basic, but dependable, Wonder Woman's story was an origin, and one following very closely to the comics. I was real happy about that aspect. What brought this rating down was Diana's consistent urge to be in a battle and just kill Ares, which kind of got annoying.
Overall - 7.5/10 Stars  I stuck to the math on this one because I wholeheartedly agree with it. DC definitely stepped up their game, but they need to keep doing this type of work, and better, if they want to have a successful cinematic universe.


Bibliography:
"Wonder Woman Trailer" <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Q8fG0TtVAY>
"Wonder Woman Steve Trevor" <http://media.comicbook.com/2017/06/wonder-woman-steve-trevor-1001688-1280x0.png>
"Wonder Woman Fight Scene" <http://www.anenglishmaninsandiego.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/WWfight.png>

Video 2 Up!!!

Heya folks, I've been real busy lately and this is one of the things that I've been working on. There's a new YouTube video up, if you'll click on the YouTube Channel link up above, you'll find "FOOD OFF: SEASON 01 EPISODE 01". Or you can click below if you're that lazy.

Next up in the near future: Wonder Woman Review, The Mummy Review, and two new YouTube videos! Stay tuned folks! It's gonna be a helluva summer.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

Guy Ritchie delivers yet another fantastic movie, featuring stunning visual effects and phenomenal acting. And for movie buffs out there like me, you probably can't get enough of Ritchie's camera angles and intense fight sequences. This'll leave you only wanting more, I can promise that much.

K I N G   A R T H U R

L E G E N D   O F   T H E   S W O R D

                  The film begins with a background of the relationship between humans and mages. At first, they lived in harmony. In fact, the king of England (King Uther) had extremely good relations with the mages. But a dark mage by the name of Mordred wanted to assert mages' dominance over

normal men, so he launched a war against men. And England was his target.

                  The king defeats Mordred single-handed, thanks to his sword called Excalibur, given him by Merlin. After that, there's a celebration and the kingdom rejoices. But the Uther's brother, Vortigern (played by Jude Law), is not as happy as the rest of the kingdom. He takes his wife to a secret cave, and there, he kills her as a sacrifice of sorts.
                  Uther awakes his wife and tells her that they have to leave the castle immediately. They pick up their son and run down to the harbor to flee in a rowboat. But along comes a demonic looking thing that kills Uther's wife and Uther himself. But his sacrifice allows his son to escape.
                  And yeah, you guessed it, Uther's son is Arthur. WOW! So Arthur grows up, learning to fight and survive in a brothel outside of the kingdom. And he does fairly well. He's a strong fighter and he knows how to save cash. By the time he's an adult, he's got coffers stored up full of cash.
                  He also knows how to get into trouble. He gets into a quarrel with a few vikings which actually sparks a royal raid of the bar and club that he lives in. So because of that, he gets shipped off

to the kingdom hub. At this time, the infamous "sword in the stone" that everybody knows of appears and is actually a threat to Vortigern. And he wants to know why it's shown up.
                  But anyway, Arthur goes to the stone and pulls it out. He grips it with two hands and it actually burns him, then he passes out. He's then taken before Vortigern and is about to be executed, but there's a mage that helps him out. He and a band of rebels escape to a secret hideout, where they decide that Vortigern has to be overthrown. They plan an assassination and they proceed to carry it out. One of the people that's in on it is actually working for Vortigern. She's the spokesperson for the people of the kingdom.
                  When the assassination is supposed to take place, Vortigern suspects that there's a threat to his life, so he sends out a decoy. The assassination fails and the band of rebels and Arthur have to book it. They almost get overrun, but Arthur takes out Excalibur and wreaks havoc on the oncoming soldiers. It looks pretty sweet, but the only thing is that Arthur can't control the sword's power yet. There's something holding him back, and it has to do with the night that his parents were murdered in front of him.
                  Not gonna go any farther, because he finds out something that's actually pretty wild that has to do with the night that Arthur's parents were murdered.

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Ratings:

Family Friendliness - 7/10 Coffers  I guess it's safe to assume that most medieval times movies aren't too family friendly, what with all the violence in it. There's some scenes where you see people get impaled or you see their throats slit. The blood content is low, so you don't see much gore. I think it's a PG-13 movie, so honestly parents, it's up to you. If you have younger kids, please see the movie before showing the little ones.

Story Action Balance - 8/10 Stones  The film is definitely story driven, and the action that comes along with it is very much justified. Only a few scenes where there's violence is it like "yeah they threw that in for filler". For the most part, the fighting drives the story forward and adds danger for the characters to escape from. I think it was very well done.

Acting - 9/10 Swords  The movie has an all-star cast, so you can expect excellent acting from everyone. Can't really complain, except for the mage. I didn't fancy her too much, so she was the only one I had a problem with.

Story-line - 9/10 Soldiers  I actually knew nothing of Arthurian legend prior to seeing the film, so to me, it was a classic story formula that stayed true, but definitely set up a whole trilogy (at least) of films. I really hope it goes on, and I can't wait to see what Guy Ritchie has in store for us!
Overall - 8.5/10 Stars  I stuck with the math on this one and added .2 cuz it was a good one.


Bibliography:
"King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Trailer" <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rbPTQIdjmY>
"King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Demonic Creature" <http://www.thelandofshadow.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/King-Arthur-Legend-of-the-Sword-Demon.jpg>
"King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Vortigern" <https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/46/7c/3d/467c3d43de286cade5f07ecd78d9829e.jpg>